A Shade of Gray
by Riina Kwaad
Summary: Myra Starkiller chooses to remain neutral while her father and oldest brother, Jeremiah, become Jedi, and her mother and the younger of her older brothers, Jerek, follow a darker path. Star Wars Alternate Universe.
1. Chapter ONE : Seeing Destinies

"What are you doing?" Jerek asked as he entered her room.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Myra responded without opening her eyes, or shifting from her sitting position.

"Why would you need to meditate _here_ of all places?" He crossed his arms and leaned against a wall. "This is one of the most peaceful places in this sector of the galaxy!"

She opened her eyes, and just stared at him. "You mean aside from the war, right?"

He sighed and sat down, still leaning against the wall. "I just wish there was some more action around here!"

She continued to just stare him. "We're in the middle of a _war_, and you want more _action_?"

"Well… Yeah," he shrugged. "I mean, the Jedi never let us do _anything_! I know I'm ready for this war, I _know_ it!"

"Are you that anxious for your own death? Besides, Master Shan doesn't think you're ready." She paused before saying, "And neither does father."

He rolled his eyes. "Father doesn't know anything about my training."

"He's head of the Council, Jerek. He doesn't have time for us."

"So you're taking _his_ side?"

She took in a deep breath and closed her eyes again. "No," she replied calmly. "I'm not going to choose between him and mother."

He just rolled his eyes. "Whatever. All _I_ know is, I want to be out there, doing something, making a _difference_. And I'm not to do that _here_, with the Council, while father, the greatest Jedi _on_ the Council, spends all his time and energy training Jeremiah."

She sighed, "Jeremiah was _meant_ to be a Jedi. It's his destiny to lead the Council one day."

"What do _you_ know about destinies?" he snapped. "It's only because he's the first born."

"I may not be a Jedi, but I _can _use the Force."

"And what, you can see the future or something?" he asked, genuinely intrigued.

"Get out of my room," she said simply. "I want to be alone."


	2. Chapter TWO : A Meeting With The Council

Myra remained in the solitude of her room after Jerek had left her alone. Not long after she had entered a sort of trance, her oldest brother, Jeremiah, came knocking on her door.

She sighed in frustration and hung her head. "Come in," she responded, irritated.

He opened her door. "Father wishes to speak with you," he said simply.

"What, _again_?" she asked, slightly surprised. "This is the fourth time this week."

Jeremiah shrugged. "Don't look at me. I'm just the messenger here."

She got up, and went to her door and out the hall, in the direction of the Council's Court.

Jeremiah followed her.

"What are you, my escort?"

"I just want to make sure you get there safe and sound," he shrugged.

She stopped and turned to face him. "So you think I need protection? Like I'm some little girl?"

He took a step back and raised his arms in defense. "What? No, I just—"

"I might be the youngest one in the family, but I can take care of my_self_!"

"Hey, watch it, will you? I never said you couldn't. Personally, I think you could take care of yourself better than most of the Council could. I'm just following father's orders."

She put her hand to her face. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me. It's about _that_ again, isn't it?

He nodded. "Yeah. But at least listen to him, alright? He's got a point, you know…"

"Ugh," she groaned. "Fine. I'll go speak with him, but I doubt it'll be any different than last time."

* * *

With that said, they headed over to the Court, where almost the entire Council was waiting for them. Almost, except for one.

"Where is my father?" Myra asked when she noticed he wasn't there.

"He's running a little late," Master Shan, one of the two female Jedi Masters on the Council, responded. "But rest assured, he will be here." She smiled at her.

Master Ignacia Shan was one of the only Jedi Masters in the entire Order she actually liked. She was more like family to her than both her parents combined. She was one of the few Jedi she knew who supported her neutrality. "Better neutral than evil," she would sometimes say.

"Nonetheless," Master Kurn continued, "you probably know why you've been summoned here to us."

Master Shalo Kurn was one of the more disciplined and stricter Masters of the Council. He was, however, one of Myra's father's most trusted friends.

"I was told my father wanted to speak with me," she replied. "On matters that have been previously discussed," she added.

"Jeremiah, you may leave," Master Kurn dismissed him. "We shall summon you again should we require your assistance."

Jeremiah bowed to the Council before walking out the entrance and into the halls of the vast temple.

"Myra," Master Kurn continued. "Your… _unique_ abilities you perform through the Force are those that even skilled Masters have yet mastered."

She shrugged. "I'm a fast learner."

"I do not believe that is the case, Myra," Master Torlin said, shifting from his position where he sat.

Master Jolee Torlin was one of the oldest Jedi on the Council, as well as one of the wisest. He was often the first person Myra's father would go to in order to seek wisdom and betterment of himself, the Council, and all Jedi.

"You are not within the ranks of the Jedi," he continued. "No Jedi has taught you how to wield the Force. You are full of raw power, however your abilities are far beyond anything I have seen in an untrained Force Sensitive."

"With all due respect, Master Torlin… So what?" she said simply. "I guess I'm just naturally gifted. I see no point in discussing something that's already been established."

No sooner than she said this, her father, Master of the Order, walked in and took his seat.

"Hello, daughter," he smiled at her.

She bowed her head. "Father," she replied.

"You must forgive my absence," he addressed the rest of the council. "I was having a brief discussion with my youngest son. Now, what have I missed?"

"The Council was just telling me what we have previously discussed, father," she replied. "How I am not of the ranking Jedi. Yet somehow I am skilled in the Force where Masters still struggle."

"Ah, yes, so what has the rest of the Council concluded?"

"We're not quite sure," Master Takarae responded.

Master Lonna Takarae was the other of the two females of the Council. She was one of the most attentive members of the Order. Myra never could shake the feeling that Master Takarae had alternative reasons for joining the Order, other than to keep peace and balance.

"Personally," she continued, "I believe we should have the girl resume her training."

A few of the other Masters nodded their head in agreement.

"This kind of energy and power needs to be practiced and kept under control," Master Kurn added.

"Forgive me, Master Kurn," Myra interrupted, "but nothing's _wrong_ with me _or_ the way I control my abilities."

"That may be the case _now_," Master Torlin responded, "but what about later? You need to be instructed in the proper ways of the Force, and not carelessly use it as if it were some child's toy."

"Master Torlin, I—"

"You are not experienced enough in the Force," Master Kurn interrupted, "and should be put through proper training if you wish to become a Jedi, and eventually a member of the Council like your father."

"But I don't _want_ to be part of the council. I don't even want to be a Jedi!"


	3. Chapter THREE : A Separate Path

Master Kurn gasped. "Myra!"

She closed her eyes and took a moment to compose herself, taking in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I'm sorry, Master Kurn.," she started. "But just because I can use the Force doesn't mean I _have_ to be a Jedi."

"Myra," Master Takarae started. "We're merely concerned about your future, and that of the Order. Just think of what could happen should you follow the path that leads to the Dark side."

"With all due respect, Master Takarae," Myra replied. "Do you really believe that just because I choose not to become part of the Order, that I would become one of the Sith?"

"You show signs even now, young one," Master Torlin replied, shifting in his seat. "Ignorance, anger, passion. All lead to the Dark side."

"This child _must_ complete her training, Master Starkiller," Master Takarae addressed Myra's father, who had been silent until now.

"She is like her mother," he muttered quietly, more so to himself than to the rest of the Council.

"It is not fair to her," Master Shan spoke up for the first time, "to compare her to her mother." She smiled sympathetically at Myra before continuing. "Myra is not her mother, nor will she become like her."

"I beg to differ, Ignacia," Master Takarae opposed. "But if Myra continues down the path she is on, she _will_ become like her mother. Her mother was irrational, always acting before thinking."

The way Master Takarae talked about Myra's mother annoyed her. "With all due respect, Master Takarae," she interrupted before either of the Jedi Masters could continue, "but could we please leave my mother out of this?"

Her father sighed, as if he was contemplating something, and adjusted the sleeve of his robe. "Yes, I think dropping the matter would be best."

She had never been so happy to have her father agree with her. "Father," she started. "You didn't force Jeremiah or Jerek to train with the Order. I don't see why you're making such an effort to make _me_ train."

Her father sighed again. "You are not like your brothers, Myra."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "No, I'm not…" she hesitated. "But just because I'm girl doesn't mean—"

"You've acquired abilities even the greatest Jedi Masters have not yet mastered. This raw power cannot simply be ignored. You have to understand that."

"I'm not the only kid in the family who can do stuff like that!" she protested. "Jeremiah can understand things without even trying!"

He nodded. "True, but Jeremiah has chosen to develop his gifts within the growing environment of the Order. You have not."

"What if my sight doesn't need to be developed?" she retorted, referring to her unique abilities of Force Sight.

"Not many beings aside from the Miraluka race have such an ability, Myra. You can see things in a way most others can't. You can see life differently than any one of us." He gestured with a wave of his arm to the rest of the Council.

"Father," she replied. "Forgive me, but I don't see any reason why I have to finish my training if the only thing that's different about me is the way I see things."

Her father sighed, and decided to take a different approach on things. "Myra," he said. "You know there's a war going on outside these temples."

"Yes, I know…" she hesitated, not knowing what her father was going to say next. "It's been going on for nearly half a century now."

He nodded. "Yes, it has. Many brave Jedi are sacrificing their lives for the safety of the galaxy."

"Father, I know—"

He raised his hand and cut her off. "Suppose one day you need to defend yourself against a threat. You'd need proper training and guidance in order to protect yourself and others."

Myra was already tired of everyone thinking she couldn't take care of herself, but when her father made it a point that even _he_ thought she couldn't, it set her over the edge.

"I can take care of myself!" she shouted, surprising most of the Council with her resolve. "I don't need to be a Jedi to know how to do that!"

"Myra, I—"

She took a step towards him. "Just because I'm your daughter _doesn't_ mean I have to do what you do, father. I don't _have_ to be a Jedi, I don't _have_ to use the Force, I don't _have_ to be part of the Order!"

"Master Starkiller," the Jedi Master Shan voiced. "Forgive me, but Myra is merely a child." She gave her an apologetic look. "No offense to you, Myra," she smiled.

Myra couldn't help but smile back. She always knew she could count on Master Shan to support her.

"There is no law saying that she must join the Order," Ignacia continued, addressing the rest of the Council. "She is her own person, capable of making her own decisions. If she does not choose to be part of the Order, I think we should allow her to remain in a neutral position. She's not a Sith, nor do I believe she will become one."

"The girl is clearly misguided, Ignacia," Master Takarae replied. "Already she is lashing out at us for only trying to keep her on the right path."

"What if I want to follow my own path?" Myra demanded.

"You have not complete your training, you are not ready to command the Force on your own, child," Master Takarae responded.

"You make it sound like I can't take care of myself, Master Takarae."

"You have yet to receive proper guidance, Myra," Master Kurn interjected.

"This is ridiculous," Myra muttered under her breath. Then she addressed the rest of the council. "How can I prove to you that I'm ready to take on my own challenges, not as a Jedi, but merely as a sentient being?"

"Well…" Master Takarae pondered. "If the child is so determined to follow her own path," she addressed Master Shan, "there is _one_ way I can think of…"

Master Shan's eyes widened. "No, Lonna. She is only a child!"

Myra looked from one to the other. "What?" she asked both of the Masters. "What do I have to do?"


End file.
